Ignorance Must Really Be Bliss

**Warning: This post has potential of not only being lengthy, but cause you to judge me harshly. Do as you please.**

I can only imagine how light-hearted and blissful it must be to be incredibly ignorant and self-absorbed.

Let me set the stage. I was invited to be a guest at a wedding this afternoon. The wedding was held at a quaint little church not to terribly far from my home. The bride, I had not yet had the opportunity to meet. The groom on the other hand, is well known to me, as I am his oldest granddaughter.

Today's event was highly anticipated as I have not had the chance to spend quality time with the groom in many years. Not because I haven't wanted to be near him, but because there was some growing to do -on my part. Some old wounds (none of which were caused by him or those close to him that I too love) that needed to heal.

Needless to say, I was nervous to be close to this group of people that I regard as family, and although the ties are there, the physical closeness has become foreign. Because of the situation, I being the oldest granddaughter to the Groom, my young boys being his Great-Grandchildren. I felt it -although challenging, appropriate that my boys be in attendance as well.

As I sat on the back row, my bag of "tricks" loaded, I did my very best to keep my boys entertained and as reverent as it is possible for their age and attention span. It wasn't long before an older gentleman took a seat in the row in front of me. As my boys talked and played, it became very apparent by his over-the-shoulder glances, head nods and long sighs that my boys were -in his eyes, some sort of annoyance. To which he responded by turning around and informing me "There is a quiet room located behind the meeting room, where you can take your kids." Stunned, I replied kindly and continued on as I was doing. I saw no point in removing my boys from the room. They were not crying, they were not screaming, and they were not making a scene. Could they be heard -most definitely. Are they nothing more than young children in a church like setting -YUP! But were they welcomed by the guests of honor -DAMN STRAIGHT.

Not happy with my decision to remain in the room, the gentleman left his seat. Before returning he knelt down behind me, and again told me "there is a quiet room located behind the meeting room, where you can take your kids....". To which I replied "Do you have a problem with my kids being in the room?" He informed me that he simply wanted me to know and returned to his seat.

Being emotionally charged at this point, I was now extremely sensitive as the head nodding, and long sighs continued. In response to his body language, which was clearly telling me that my children were not welcome in the room. I did what any mother would do in order to protect her young, I leaned forward to confront him, and ask him once again if he had a problem with my kids...Which was met with a sideways glance and a show of hand as he turned his back to me. I promptly left my seat, knelt down at his side and repeated myself..."Sir- Do you have a problem with my kids being in the room..." his response, with attitude was "I guess not, its not my wedding..."

I can only imagine the anger and hurt was emanating from my body as I responded to his ignorance with these words -"You be sure to tell the Groom that you just ran his oldest granddaughter and his great grandsons out of the room..."

With not another word said, I removed my young from the room and packed them towards the car. Only to find that I was being followed by the same man. He stammered over his words, trying to explain that he was "simply trying to let me know that there was a quiet room where my kids would not be heard..." I couldn't believe it. With all the anger and hurt of the world I asked him if he had any idea who I was, or what I had been through to be here today. I made it very clear that I was doing my very best as a mother of two young boys, in the environment we were in and that my children WOULD be seen AND heard. At that point I explained to him that despite his explanations of "wanting me to know...." his actions spoke a lot louder than his words. That his behavior had made me feel unwelcome.

You could see it on his face as he responded with "Let me ask you this....Will you forgive me...?" Are you kidding me? Did he not hear me when I said that his actions speak a lot louder than his words. He repeated himself as I walked away from him, my young in tow. Yelling after me, "But I want to know if you will forgive me...". I wanted to say....When hell freezes over, (as I lick my finger and stick it in the cold air) ..but instead took a slightly more mature road and told him "Not today....maybe you should star with I'm Sorry instead of Will you Forgive me.."

I have never been soo incredibly hurt or offended in all my life. I knew that there were people out there that just don't get it. But this was beyond any experience I have ever had. I still don't know who this man was, but suspect that he was a friend or fellow church member, if not clergy of the church hosting the wedding. What I do know is that he had -quite possibly still has, NO idea who I am, where I come from, or what it took for me to even be in that room today. The tumultuous times that this family of mine has been through and the incredible steps towards healing and bonding that were to take place today, before he stepped into my world with his blissful ignorance.

To you my newest ignorant friend. I HAVE forgiven you but I am slow to forget! You have not been forgotten. My vengeful self will dwell on your actions today. Once I have licked my wounds and they begin to heal I can only hope that your eyes will be opened to the ignorance and know the pain you caused me, at which time I WILL FORGET YOU!