Reality Check

We all get them from time to time and for one reason or another. My most recent reality check came in the form of a phone call. A phone call from my mother, letting me know that my father had been admitted to the hospital. I won’t go into great detail (you’re welcome fatherson), thankfully though, after two nights, he is home.. As far as I have been informed, there is nothing more to be concerned about, and my father should be well on his way to a speedy recovery.

I imagine these reality checks are in response to me convincing myself that I am all knowing, and will forever be invincible. I have formed this theory for some very specific reasons.

The first reason- These sort of events evoke questions that just can’t be answered. For example: Why? Why is this happening? What are we supposed to be learning from all of this? Why me? What did I do? Why the ones I love? Haven’t they been through enough? What? What happens next? Who? Who’s going to fix this?

The second reason- These sort of events are often times beyond my control. I am by nature, a controller and a fixer. But if I am not in control, that can only mean one thing…I am powerless. And without complete power and control, I am not going to be able to fix things.

And the final reason- There is often times powerful emotions that accompany such events. Emotions such as fear, anxiety, anger, and pain.

All the unanswerable questions manage to remind me that I am NOT all knowing, never have been, and probably will never be. Something I hate to admit, but the truth hurts sometimes. While being without complete control, and drowning in emotions, is proof that I am NOT invincible.

Beyond learning that I am not all knowing, nor am I invincible, these reality checks are a rude reminder of how fragile life can be.