Oh Koda Bear

From a very young age, I was taught that animals are to be loved, cared for and given the same respect as any other living creature. For me, that concept also translated into the commitment that you make when you adopt a pet. Once adopted, they are part of the family, rain or shine, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

Kyle and I have reached the point of no return with our two family pets, and I am struggling. We are facing a decision that we never thought we would have to make. A decision that neither one of us want to make.

Koda recently began exhibiting some rather unusual behavior. It began with him crying from the basement, as if he was lost. These awkward cries soon turned into middle of the night rantings (crying and meowing), which would require you to call out to him. We adopted Koda prior to my last two pregnancies. So, it was obvious that these acts of crying out, where to get your attention. I’ve done what I can to include him, and to teach the boys to love him, in hopes that he would get the extra attention that he was so desperately seeking.

Gradually his rantings progressed into something more rebellious. I have to admit it was funny for some time, to find all of our socks and washcloths stashed under beds. And I even tried to be light hearted about my clean uniform shirts being dragged from the laundry room..

And really, truly the 4am wake up calls aren’t as bad I make them out to be. Who would have known that at 12 lb cat could knock just about anything off of a nightstand? (i.e. clocks, lamps, remotes, plants, books..if its on the nightstand he can, and will knock it off). Yet another cry for attention. And what better time and place to get your undivided attention?

With time this rebellious behavior has taken on a destructive tone. Koda decided that he didn’t particularly care for the room his litter box had been placed in, and went to using a specific spot on the carpet in a downstairs bedroom. On a positive note, he uses the same spot repeatedly, and as far as I can tell has not ventured away from that spot. How much does one pet owner need to take, before enough is enough?

We tried listing him on KSL.com. We had a few interested people, but my conscience would not let me be anything but brutally honest with the people wanting to take him into their home. My biggest fear was that he would exhibit one of his quirky habits and they would hurt him, or leave him somewhere uncared for.

Now comes the decision that has to be made. The local shelters will not take him in for adoption, as he exceeds the age limit of 4 years old. Its been decided that animals over the age of 4, do not adjust to such drastic life changing experiences. If we do take him to a shelter, they will take him, but only to euthanize him. Or the alternative, which is to keep him.

I don't know if its an emotional break down, or some sort of mental disorder. But I truly believe that he is sick. Maybe its nothing more than a broken heart, as he feels 'replaced' by the kids. Or maybe it's just my way of justifying the decision that we are forced to make.

I fear that the time has come. He truly would be happier if we allowed him to pass on. But my heart aches. I know its all so silly. But he's a living, breathing, feeling, member of our family, and the thought of forcing his story to end is devastating. But I don't know what else to do.

I do know, the longer we wait, the harder it will all become. And we are quickly approaching a point where the boys will know if he is no longer in the house...